5 steps to make progress in uncertainty of the world that's changing every moment: goal-setting is nonsense.

You can do everything “right” and still not get the result on your preferred timeline and that doesn’t mean you’re failing.

Today I’m unpacking the mindset shift that removes so much goal frustration: outcomes don’t owe you a deadline. When you stop demanding that the scale, the KPI dashboard, or the relationship dynamic change on command, you get your power back and start making real progress.

I share a practical, coaching-tested, 5-step goal achieving framework built on goal setting science, motivation, behavioral science, and 18 years of work with ambitious clients.

I also explain why tracking and rewarding actions beats obsessing over outcomes, and how to reflect and adjust without spiraling into self-criticism.

The big takeaway is simple and freeing: obsess over the process like masters do, and let the “masterpiece” arrive as a side effect of consistent work.

If this helps you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a better process, and leave a rating and review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Welcome And Why We Stall

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shorina. I'm your host. I'm your partner in change, personal and collective transformation, your executive master health and self-actualization coach, and just someone who's really passionate about doing our best every day to create the most positive impact in the world we're capable of while living extraordinary lives. Today, guys, we're talking about a very important topic. It's achievement, it's goal, acquiring, it's moving towards the vision of the world, of yourself, of your impact in the world, closer and closer towards that every single day. And what I've learned in 18 years of my coaching, and through many setbacks and failures, and not achieving goals and getting frustrated and getting in my own way of doing the work that leads towards results in my work, in my relationships, in my life that I want. Observing where my clients stumble, my quite successful clients, we often, you know, guys, we don't always transfer the skills of success that we master in one area, let's say it's business or health or relationships, to the other areas we where we might be struggling. And so learning about frameworks like the one you're gonna learn today allows you to look into those areas where you are underachieving or still maybe feeling more frustrated or upset or not being exactly where you want to be, or not, I think the better word is not moving towards where you want to be effectively, you know. And as a listener of this podcast, you might sometimes wonder: is it all about you know progress and moving and achieving? It's not, and it's also about movement in life in general. You know, Tony Robbins likes to say you are either growing or dying in life. And what I do know is true, nothing in the world or nature is stagnant. When something is stagnant and just stands still like water, you know, it gets bad. It gets uh when it comes to water, it gets stale, it starts to stink. Uh, when it comes to humans, I was talking

Growth Versus Stagnation

SPEAKER_00 2:48

to my mom yesterday, and she's like, you know, Angela, I took a day off yesterday and I tried to do nothing, and I had the worst day ever. And that's what I also noticed. People in the state of inactivity, just this passive, I don't know, consumption or mindlessness, we're not happy people. We like to be moving, exploring, engaging with things. That is life, because the only thing that stays stable is a dead body. Well, actually, that's also not true because it gets decomposing, just like Tony Robbins would say, you know, you're either growing or dying. But all that being said, it's not about achieving or getting somewhere, but life is about movement or some sort of development or growth, whether that happens internally or in the outer world. But no matter in which world it happens, internal world or external world, there is a better way of approaching desired state or developing or growing something that you feel you'd like to have more of, or just develop.

The Only Lever Is Today

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Uh, I quote from many sessions in my coaching from a lot of clients, a lot of my clients, and I myself need to remind myself that quite often, all I can do really is focus on one day at a time. Most of my clients, guys, get to this realization sooner than later throughout our coaching, after watching themselves mirrored in our sessions, uh, fail far from their expectations. My clients realize that the goal uh is irrelevant if what they do today isn't building toward it. Getting fitter, losing weight, getting healthier, growing your business, getting happier, fixing a relationship. The only thing you can control is what you do today, what you do right now, in fact. And whether today add it to your goal or subtract it from it, all you can do, all you can control, or you all you can uh like influence is what you do with what you have right now in front of you. Invest more and your goal arrives sooner. Assuming you have the right strategy, which you need to constantly reflect on. Subtract, especially if you know that you are subtracting from your goal when you take certain actions and it moves further away. Very often I notice in myself and in work with my clients is that more often than not we get into our own way. In fact, what I got to realize is that the fastest way to accelerate your goals or creating the change that you seek to create, the fastest way is to stop doing things that move you backwards. And then even if you do a really tiny step every single day, you get to move forward. And over the course of days, weeks, and months, you'll be amazed at how far it all compounds and snowballs into exact or even something better vision that you want.

Quit Chasing Deadlines And Scales

SPEAKER_00 6:22

We get frustrated when we build a plan and the progress doesn't show up on our timeline, on our schedule. But progress was never a guarantee. The outcome, the goal, they owe you nothing. At best, it's a well-educated guess with an approximate timeline. Your result, the outcomes that you get in life, is a reflection of how good your strategy is plus consistency. Results, the outcome they don't owe you a timeline. Just because it worked for, I don't know, Chris or Lucy, or you read it in a blog and it's supposed to work this way, it doesn't mean anything. Alex Carmozzi, a young entrepreneur I really admire for the amount of thinking that he does about the process, whether that's business or self-development. He has this phrase that I absolutely love. Take that much action that getting success or whatever that is that you want would be silly not to expect. And most of us, if I'm honest, do the minimum and hope we get lucky enough to beat the timeline or the scale or the market. My clients said weight goals, fitness goals, sleep goals, relationships, and performance and career goals. Then they demand the results show up in exactly that many weeks. They watch the scale, the KPIs, the relationship status update, and forget two things. The scale doesn't owe you a deadline or time frame. And your actions are the only thing that was ever up to you to control. Did you do your best you could? Did you do the best you could today? Not perfect, just the best available to you with what you have, where you are. Did you do your best to invest into the future, the goal, the outcome you say you want? Today, right now. Then ask what you can improve tomorrow. And then again and again and again, and that's how you accelerate. Don't watch the scale. Watch whether you showed up for the meals, the training, the habits, the tr the time in front of the other person when you focus on relationships. Same with sales, right? Don't watch your bank account, watch your calls, your meetings, the value you deliver. All we have, all you have, guys, is today. Not studying Monday, even though today is Monday. If you want this goal as much as you say you do, what are you doing today, right now, to move it closer? Or at minimum to stop sliding backward. Today, the only day you actually get to work on your goal. Nothing else is guaranteed. Once a client locks onto like this idea of today's actions, once you release the fantasy that you can control when and how the result shows up, I know that you'll get there. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but you'll get there.

The 5-Step Goal-Achieving Process

SPEAKER_00 9:41

And so before right now, I'm gonna give you a five-step goal achieving framework that allows you to be uh achieving and moving closer and making progress without frustrations and upsets that you're not hitting your target on the on the time frame that you know you're supposed to have it. So you eliminate a lot of those upsets and frustrations that just make your day today not feel that great. And also it affects how much action and with what effort, with what zest and energy you take those actions, right? So to achieve your goal, you need to be, especially if it's a hard goal and long-term goal, you need to get really good at controlling your internal state, how you feel, through controlling your internal narrative, the stories that you tell yourself. So you need to get really good at that, and then get really good and consistent with tracking actions. And here is the five-step process that these days I teach my clients and I apply to myself to make sure that you're moving forward, feeling good, and over time making the progress that you want to see. It has nothing to do with whether your goal is smart enough or not, or whether it's ambitious enough or not ambitious enough. It has to do with a better process of making progress. And at the end of the day, all it matters is that you make progress. Because again, when the goal will show up, if it shows up, it depends on many things. And the only thing you can control and design for is the amount and the kind of actions that you're gonna take. Plus, again, the process that you're gonna learn right now, five-step process will help you to control your internal state, how you feel a lot better, so you get to feel better, so then you do a lot better on the action side of things as well. So, goal achieving process, lessons from 18 years of coaching, uh, my high-performing, highly ambitious clients, also lessons from science of goal setting, of motivation, of behavioral science, and also just my own experience with you know what worked, what didn't work. I've been a goal setting person since I was a kid, and I'm still learning a better process.

Make Goals Measurable And Balanced

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Number one, set the goal, make it measurable. When it comes to keep your eyes for business, for sales, etc., it's quite easy to set a measurable goal, and you kind of know when you move forward or you don't. But I urge you to create the kind of goals that are not just one-sided, you know, a sale or not, is there more in your bank account or not? But also somehow allows you to manage to measure progress, which doesn't necessarily translate in the final number. Like let's say if you work on weight loss and the only thing that you track is the scale going down, uh well, sometimes it won't go down no matter what you do, and sometimes it's gonna go up and you'll build muscle and you'll actually do better, but the scale will not reflect that objectively, right? So, ideally, you wanna have the quality, the quantity, a couple of indicators that allow you to track progress not just from one side, but you do need to track that progress, especially if it's something internal, like living life with more happiness or fulfillment or as a happier person. Like, how will you know that you are moving closer, in fact? So set the goal in a way that A allows you to track it from a couple of sides at least, not just one number, and then B, do figure out how to track it with some sort of progress indicator, because otherwise, it's like moving goalposts. You just never know when you're closer or not. And if you never know, then how are you gonna adjust your strategy? Right? So, this is number one set the goal that allows you to see progress from a few sides, and B that you do set the goal that you can measure the progress towards. Now, the second, very important, I'd say, well, if not the most important, then it is it is fundamental to get closer to anything.

Choose Actions You Control

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Number two, choose your actions to support the goal. The only thing you can really control is what you do. So choose the actions that you need to take consistently to move closer toward that goal. Now, the tricky part is choosing the right kind of actions very often. So it's best when you have a combination of actions based on real-world data, ideally from someone who already achieved that, ideally, from a very similar state to yours, a combination of experience and expertise borrowed from other people and your own history, right? So, second choose your actions. And just like with business or weight loss or relationships, when you listen to people who studied it, who've been there, who spent maybe a couple of decades of their life mastering that, and they like and they helped others to achieve that goal. Listen to those people, especially if you personally don't really have a lot of experience, so somebody else's experience and expertise borrowed, especially again from people like coaches, like educators who helped others to achieve that. That is your best source for the actions that are more likely to get you closer towards your goals faster. But choose your actions, the only thing you can control. Three, and that is what a lot of people outside of coaching miss. The a lot of people who said new year resolutions and all kinds of goals, and they're like, Well, and then Monday happened and I was super busy and hactic season, and I just didn't get to actions. So

Build Follow-Through Systems

SPEAKER_00 16:07

step number three, build follow-through systems. You know, Navy SEALs say we don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the levels of our to the level of our systems. That's what they talk about. Okay, now you know the actions, or you decided on some actions. What are the resources, the tools, the support you need to make the right actions happen consistently? This is where you troubleshoot obstacles in advance and plan for your worst week, for your weakest spots before they cost you wasted time, wasted effort, wasted mood and motivation. How are you gonna follow through? How are you gonna make the actions that you need to take almost impossible not to do consistently? How do you get stuff out of the way of the actions that you need to take? So you have no excuses whatsoever not to make it happen on any day, especially when you're tired, unmotivated, don't have time, and it feels like an impossible task to make them. How can you set yourself up for success for even then? So that is step number three that most people outside of coaching and achievement and all the new year resolutions, people that is where all the newbies, and actually, a lot of people, that's where a lot of people miss out on. You don't build the system to make the right actions that you need to take consistently, easy, and doable, even on your worst

Track Actions And Reward Effort

SPEAKER_00 17:44

day. Step number four, track and reward the actions. Stop watching the scale, watch the meals, the workouts, the sleep, and reward yourself internally. Like, hey, I've done it. I don't know you know what's gonna happen tomorrow or the week after, but I've done it. I did my best, and again, your best is different on any given day. But did you do your best? Did you try your best to follow through with your nutrition, with your fitness, with your sleep, with your self-management? Did you do your best right to deliver on actions and then track that? Have some sort of habit tracker, action tracker, a paper, the sheet of paper with like squares for each day, so you see when you actually do the right actions consistently. Because at the end of the day, again, you might have the best strategy, but if you're not consistent, you're not gonna get anything. So you need to track and reward the only thing that you can control your actions, and that is where a lot of people also really miss out on the opportunity to make themselves a feel good, track things, adjust things better, and focus more on what you can control, which is your actions. You don't control the scales, you don't control the sales, you don't control other people. All you control is your actions. So you need to get consistent with whatever actions you take and then reward, make yourself feel good about following through, not just about a big payoff at the end. And then number five, reflect and adjust.

Reflect, Adjust, Obsess Over Process

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Did you do the thing? How well did you do it? Could you improve? Should you notice what shifts and changes as your goals and results evolve and emerge? So that's very important because you might do the thing consistently, but if it's the wrong thing, or maybe there is a better thing, then you need to adjust that. But reflecting on your goal should happen a lot less frequently than deflection on consistency of your actions. So I always recommend to track consistency of your actions on a daily basis, sometimes even twice a day. And then your goal, good one, is a couple of weeks, maybe a week, depending on your goal. So don't watch the goal, track the consistency of actions. And in fact, you know, the these are five steps again. Action is the king, the outcome was never yours to control. And every master of their craft knew this. You know, you take Mozart, you take Michelangelo, you take Stephen King, whoever you admire for the amazing quality of work that they do. What they knew and learned is they have to obsess over the process. Like it's the only thing that exists. And then the masterpiece arrives at some point without fail. It never works the other way. If you obsessively focus on the masterpiece, the process itself will not become a masterful process. So if you look at people who you admire who achieved a lot and stayed in their zone of genius for consistently, they develop skills, virtuosity, they obsess about the process, the masterpiece, the outcome. It's just a side effect that they never focus on. So ask yourself: are you focused on the actions you can master today, on the process, or still hoping that the scale will show the right thing tomorrow? Obsess about process and taking consistent action of the best quality you are capable of today. We're gonna sum up and review the process, five-step process in

Share, Review, And Final Recap

SPEAKER_00 21:41

a moment. But before that, maybe take a minute and share this podcast episode with someone who might use a better process for achieving internal well-being and fulfillment or some external goal. Share this podcast with them. Let's help each other do better and achieve more and grow. And then also rate review this podcast, which helps us to reach people in more than 122 countries that we are already in. Let's create the kind of world where people know how to do better, growing towards their best. And now back to our five-step process for goal achieving, whether that's an internal goal or external one. Set the goal and a make it measurable from a couple of sides, not just one way of measuring your progress, because sometimes it's internal, sometimes it's external, sometimes one thing might take longer time in a complex process. And then B, measure somehow. Otherwise, you won't know how to adjust your actions. Step number two, choose your actions, the only thing you can control, and it's best when you base it on experience of other people who are more proficient in it, who have experience teaching that process and getting results to others. Number three, build a follow-through system. What resources, tools, and support do you need to make the right actions happen consistently? The best strategy without consistency will give you nothing. Number four, track and reward the actions, not the goal, the actions, everyday things that you will do to start making progress. Track and reward the action, not the big payoff at the end. Otherwise, your motivation will be finished long before you get the result. And number five, reflect and adjust. Did you do the thing? How well could you improve? Should you notice what shifts as your goals and results evolve and emerge? I hope this was useful, guys. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening. Thank you for working on yourself. And till next time, keep growing.